I do NOT!

As some of you may recall from my previous post, I will be moving to NYC a year before my boyfriend. And with only a few months until my big move, my bf hasn’t told his parents that he’s moving with me yet. He wants to do it his way, obviously the wrong way. He would be walking down the hallway and go “Hey dad did you close the garage? Oh and btw I’m moving to NY with Island Gal next year”. It is not a joke, he literally told me that. I could not believe him so I offered my support and told him that I wanted to be there when he tells his parents. He replied by telling me that he wasn’t there when I told mine. But it’s different since my parents know from before I even took the job. I consulted with them and asked for feedback so it’s completely different than telling them something I’m going to do regardless of their opinions.

Anyways, this week he told his mom something like “I’m thinking I’ll move to NYC” so naturally she emailed me. She always does this. He never properly expresses anything so she always comes to me for the entire version. In the email she said she wanted to know more details and she gave a piece of her mind, as in “I want you guys to get marry before moving in together”. WHAT? I took a deep breath and pretended like I never saw that message.

The next day I saw her was at her house and the second my bf left us alone she was all over questioning me. I really love her a lot. She is normally not this annoying and in some way I understand her concerns; but can’t she just ask him instead of me? I felt so awkward. If it was up to me, I just asked them for dinner and tell them everything but it’s not. He wants to do it his way. Well, eventually she got to the really really uncomfortable part, marriage. She wants us to get marry in front of a judge before moving in together. I briefly explained that I want to have a real wedding and not some quick ceremony just so we won’t be judge by her family. Ok, I didn’t exactly tell her the family part but I was thinking it.

I’m the type of girl that has always dreamt of her wedding day (I usually don’t tell this to anyone since I hate being stereotyped for it). I look at wedding dresses or as I like to call it, dress porn every couple of months (ok ok more like twice a month) and I love those cheesy wedding TV shows like “Say yes to the dress”, “Platinum Weddings”, “Who’s wedding is it anyways” and “Amazing Wedding Cakes”. I also secretly get in wedding forums to see the newest trends. I know I’m not alone here, right girls? I mean, I don’t want it to happen right now but I do look forward to it some day. But besides the wedding, I want it to be something that comes natural and with time, not forced. I want it to be special and OUR idea not hers. I know that some of you may be conservative and may agree with her but I strongly believe that some piece of paper it’s not worth giving up one of the most important day of my life. I don’t even care about the stupid paper. For me doing the “right thing” is not getting that legal paper, it’s more about the emotional and symbolic process of a wedding. Having late night talk about whose guests shouldn’t be invited, choosing colors together, trying on gowns with my mom, writing our vows, waking up that day feeling like the happiest day of our life’s and even the nerves are part of what marks and celebrates the beginning of our family.

Living in separate apartments in the city is not an option since rent is too expensive and it would be completely pointless to have a stranger as a roommate when we have each other. But it got me thinking, what if we hadn’t decided to move? We would definitely not be thinking about moving in together yet. So the truth is that we are not moving together out of love, even though we do love each other, we are moving because of money issues. By the way even if I had agree with getting married quickly by a judge, I will not be able to live the fact that his mom was practically obligating him. And come one, what does she gain by telling me? I’m not the one proposing anyways. Maybe to her isn’t a big deal since she got married by a judge a week later after her husband, my boyfriend’s dad, told her randomly at his car without even a ring, “Why don’t we, uh, you know get marry?” NO way! I will not accept that as my story. I want a real proposal and a real wedding. She has to respect the fact that for me it is a huge deal and I will not settle for anything less.

To be continue…

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